My favorite Christian Minister, Dr Bruce Morgan, used to quote often:
The apparently unendurable conflict is proof of the rightness of your life.
A life without inner contradiction is either only half a life or else a life in the Beyond, which is destined only for angels.
- CG Jung Letter to Marie-Louise Von Franz
My experience has been:
When I keep coming before God with my questions, my unresolved yearnings, my pain...
Letting go of who I think I am in God, who I think God is, and where I think God has me to go and to do…
Then I allow a Break-through to a new Reality,
in which I experience my wholeness, empowerment and peace in God, again.
I have found, when things become untenable, there is something
- within me, to break,
- within my inertial trajectory, to change.
When I am willing to die, and allow God to resurrect me,
Until then, I suffer, suffer, suffer.
The conflict, and even the suffering, is a Gift from Life, from God.
It grabs me by the neck, and Forces me to Pay Attention, to Shift;
When I Never, Never, Never would have shifted/changed/let-go, otherwise.
I want to come to my unique wholeness / maturity in God.
I ALSO want to be comfortable in myself, accepted in the world, and flow with unconscious inertia in my life.
Painful conflict within myself, and in my outer expereince, is God's gift to me:
- to help me choose, again and again,
- to take the tough road, the unimaginable road,
- to choose the road that leads me outside "the camp" and into the "heart of God".
Blessings on your unique journey in God
Follow-up to this conversation here.